


An Eye for an Eye

by NanakiBH



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Caretaking, Devotion, Eye Trauma, Healing, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Manipulative Relationship, Possessive Behavior, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Soulmates, Speculation, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 09:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20992472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH
Summary: "He may let them rest in a feeling of security, but His eyes are on their ways."





	An Eye for an Eye

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in that world from the KH3 secret ending. Is it the world of The World Ends With You? Verum Rex? The real world? A digital copy of the real world? Who knows. We're not going to think about that for now!
> 
> I primarily used their Organization names here again because I have a feeling that that's how things will be. It's so hard to write things that are post-KH3 right now, but I can't be stopped. I'm trying to see the future.
> 
> There are some non-graphic descriptions of Xigbar's missing eye situation in this. Nothing gory, but still possibly disturbing. Wasn't sure how to tag that, so I'm just letting you know.

It was raining in the world of skyscrapers. The Master was allowing them to rest and catch up with each other until it was time for them to make their move.

Things were still a little strained and awkward, but it was a better arrangement than whatever the hell the Organization had going on, that was for sure. Being back together with the Master and the Foretellers was like having a class reunion; they hadn't seen each other in forever, but they still felt familiar with each other in a way that let them slip back into the way they used to be. Going to another world with the group of them was like going on a long-awaited class trip.

In a weird way, Xigbar found it... kind of exciting.

Stranger yet, he was happy that Luxord and Demyx were still with him. The past he'd been waiting for had returned to him, but he hadn't been abandoned by the present. They were proof of the time that passed.

The Master – Demyx – was sitting by the window of the hotel room they were sharing, watching the rain with a pleasant smile on his face. His aquamarine eyes moved rapidly with small, nearly undetectable movements, studying every falling drop of rain.

He had a right to look happy. Everything had happened exactly as he'd seen it.

His eyes were beautiful. Xigbar was still adjusting to the fact that the Master was _that guy_, but he found himself able to ignore it whenever he looked into his eyes. Demyx's heart was certainly the same as the one he remembered – the one he'd spent eons waiting for. It made him feel foolish for having not trusted the voice in his heart. Even though Demyx had lost his memories, his personality had always been unmistakably that of the Master's.

The way he moved, the way he laughed, his cocky smile...

If he'd known, he wouldn't have left him alone.

He would have protected him.

When he expressed sentiments such as those, Demyx just laughed them off. In order for his plan to succeed, he understood that he also needed to live dangerously. He broke himself apart and scattered the pieces, having no assurance beyond his own faith that his apprentices would find the pieces and put him back together again someday.

His eyes. His heart. His body. His memory.

A piece of him had never been far away.

Even though he was incapable of letting him know, he'd always been there. They'd taken the same journey along different paths.

Seeing him there, finally whole, made Xigbar's chest swell with such a feeling.

“Xiggy.”

And that name, the acknowledgment of his work.

He wasn't just Luxu. He was Braig, Xigbar, and countless others. Demyx remembered them all.

He approached the windowsill where Demyx was waiting with an expectant look. As soon as he was close, Demyx grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him down to sit beside him. It was cramped, but that was alright. Xigbar wanted to be close to him. When he was near the Master, he felt a certain sense of completeness, as if just being near him was enough to make him whole. A part of his heart had always been missing without him.

Glancing down, he realized that Demyx had never let go of him. His hand had simply strayed and stayed, resting over Xigbar's in the space between them on the sill. Xigbar covered it with his other palm and smiled.

“You're a lot more confident now.”

“Had to be,” Xigbar said. “Wouldn't have gotten anywhere if I kept letting my nerves get the better of me.”

Not like he ever let it stop him. Ever since he was small, he'd been able to ignore his own discomfort for the sake of his duty. It was more important than anything, even himself. Pleasing the Master was his priority.

It was all worth seeing that adoring face.

Demyx slipped his hand away and lifted both hands to cup his face. “You did an awesome job. Perfect. Just like I knew you would.”

“You already told me that,” Xigbar said, letting out a small, bashful laugh.

“I can tell you again, can't I?” Demyx said obstinately, puffing out his cheeks. His petulant expression faded quickly, softening with affection as he stroked his thumbs over Xigbar's cheeks. “I'm proud of you.”

Xigbar knew what he was really like, so he knew what Demyx really meant.

The Master had always valued himself above anyone else. That part of him surely couldn't have changed, but Xigbar hadn't expected it to. He'd already accepted the way he was, long ago. He made peace with the fact that he'd always be second to the Master's love for himself.

That twisted pride of his was even there in his Nobody, even more egregious in a lazy good-for-nothing who made no contribution to the Organization.

To be one of the things that made him feel proud of himself...

That was the closest he could come to being truly loved by him.

“It's hard to take you seriously when you look like... this.” With a sigh, Xigbar removed Demyx's hands, but he kept holding them because... Because he could. Why would he let go when he finally had him?

For a second, Demyx was aghast, stunned that his favorite pupil would say something to offend his appearance. A narcissist wouldn't understand. But he was smart. He quickly covered up his reaction with an awkward cough and a nonchalant smirk.

“That's the idea. I had to fool everyone, including you. Sometimes, it's smart to be stupid!” Slowly, his smirk fell away, the look in his eyes becoming distant and introspective. “You think I don't find it a little surprising to hear you speaking softly with this rugged face? I may have seen this coming, but I got used to the way you were. As it turns out... We really are still just us, no matter what we look like.”

It would've probably been impossible to make him admit it, but it sounded like a part of him had been worried, even if it had just been a small part. It was worrisome to sense uncertainty from the one who was always supposed to be sure of himself, but it made Xigbar smile. It was comforting to know that they shared the same worry – that the Master had also been hoping to see the Luxu he remembered.

“I resent the weak part of me that still exists,” Xigbar said bitterly, “but I'm glad that people can't change so easily. I was afraid that you would've become someone completely different by the time I saw you again. I thought, as long as I still have this part of me that reminds me of who I used to be, then maybe... Maybe there’d be a part of you that I could still recognize.”

“Silly,” Demyx teased. “Now you know. Every person has an essential piece that goes deeper than your heart. That piece is written onto your very existence like a code. If someone tried to change it or erase it, you wouldn't just stop being 'you' – you'd cease to function. It's what makes you run.”

“That must be true,” Xigbar quietly agreed. He'd swapped bodies more times than he could count and his heart had undergone changes that should have been irreversible, yet he was still able to recognize himself, and his feelings hadn't changed. “After all this time... I still love you more than life itself.”

A small, surprised sound leapt from the back of Demyx's throat and his face turned red. “Th... That's the first time you've said it!”

“I didn't have to make it something special if you already knew,” Xigbar said with a chuckle. “Do you think I would've done all of this for you if I didn't love you?”

Even thought he hadn't gone out of his way to make it sound like an important confession, he was happy to see the way that Demyx reacted. He claimed that he hadn't changed, but the part of him that developed as a Nobody seemed to make him more easily flustered.

Or, perhaps he had always been like that, but a child simply hadn't been able to get under his skin. His young attempts to get closer to the Master must have seemed cute, but it was a different story when he grew up and became someone who could seduce him with the confidence of maturity.

Demyx was quiet for a moment, smiling to himself in a way that Xigbar couldn't quite understand.

He realized that he must have gotten used to ignoring the Master's face. Most of the time, he wore his hood – even indoors! – keeping his face enigmatically hidden beneath layers of deep shadow. He'd always been an expressive person, but, rather than elucidating his thoughts, seeing the emotions on his face somehow made it even harder to grasp what he was thinking. His tone of voice, the expressions on his face, his animated gestures – it was all in plain sight, but every aspect seemed to send mixed signals.

Paying earnest attention to his body language was a trap. He was an incomprehensible person.

Xigbar wanted to kiss him.

Grabbing him by the jaw, he was pleased by the surprise that briefly flashed through Demyx's eyes as he crushed their lips together. For that fraction of a second, his slit pupils became even thinner, sharpened to attention like the eyes of a cat that had been spooked. As he relaxed, so did his eyes, his pupils becoming rounder until he finally closed his eyes. Xigbar laughed against his mouth and released his jaw, bringing his hand to the back of his head to entangle his fingers in his hair as the kiss deepened.

Putting his arms around Xigbar's shoulders, Demyx parted his lips and let their tongues mingle. Soon, it didn't matter how cramped it was on the windowsill with Demyx gradually finding his way into his lap. Xigbar moved his other hand to hold his backside, hoisting him up to sit in his lap properly with his knees resting on either side of him.

For a few silent moments, Xigbar's mind became comfortably void of thought and he heard nothing but the rain gently tapping against window and the sound of their breaths as their lips touched. For a change, the Master's mouth demanded nothing, simply accepting the adoration Xigbar showed him with his lips.

“I love you, Master,” Xigbar said, their lips still ghosting over each other.

Demyx's mouth twisted into a grin and his eyes narrowed slyly.

“Tell me again~”

“I love you,” Xigbar said, imparting another small kiss to his lips.

“Again, again!”

Xigbar grinned and tugged on his hair, nonetheless giving him another kiss. “I love you so much, I can't stand it.”

“Ahhhh, I'm overflowing with Xiggy's love! My light's fully charged!” he cheered, waving his arms like an excited child.

“You're incorrigible.”

Demyx settled down. He leaned against him and contentedly tucked his head under Xigbar's chin. “That's right. I'll never learn. You have no choice but to spoil me until I just can't take it anymore. Oh no, how horrible and unfortunate for me,” he said in a deadpan voice drenched in sarcasm.

“Of course I have no choice. You're the one who made me like this, destined to be motivated by my devotion to you. See, I'm even aware of it and I still can't help it. I hope you realize how messed up that is. But...” He put his arms around him with a grumble. “I dunno. Is it really that bad? Nah. It could be worse. If I gotta dedicate myself to one guy for all eternity, it might as well be You and not another crusty old schmuck like Xehanort.”

Being chosen by the Master was a raw deal, but he couldn't imagine letting anyone else take the job. The Master chose him for a reason. No one else could ever love him as much as he did. There was a special satisfaction to be had in that fact.

It was disturbing to think that he lived for that purpose... Being apart from him filled him with the unbearable need to be reunited with him. It was painful. His life was nothing but heartache and anguish until the day he returned.

He knew it was horrible.

He knew that he had no reason to love such a selfish person.

But, the overwhelming elation he felt when he finally saw his eyes...

It was unparalleled. There was nothing else like it.

Being by his side was happiness.

“Master...”

He held him tighter.

“No need to be so formal,” Demyx said, gently rubbing a hand around his back. “I'm not going anywhere, Luxu. You'll be with me til the end this time.”

That was all he wanted, really...

To live and die by his side. The end.

Heaving an exhausted sigh, he removed himself from Demyx's grasp and stood. Demyx looked up at him with a confused brow raised, still hugging the air where he'd been.

“Huh? W-... Was it something I said? Why are you leaving?”

Xigbar gave an amused huff. “I'm dead tired. If you want me to function, I need to sleep. Hard.” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder toward the hotel room's bathroom. “I'm going to clean up. I can't sleep without cleaning out my eye hole.”

“Want me to help? I can clean it for you.”

Xigbar paused for a moment, wondering why he was so quick to offer his help. For Demyx, it seemed strange – it wasn't a pleasant task. And he never offered to do _anything._ On the other hand, it did seem like something that would have excited the Master's perverse curiosity.

If he'd seen everything through the eye in his keyblade, he should've known what it was like... Xigbar let him see everything, even the most difficult things. Especially those things.

“Whatever. Knock yourself out.”

He headed for the bathroom and Demyx hurriedly got up to join him.

He didn't need anything special to take care of it. It was relatively simple, so the hotel room had everything he needed. If the Master had paid attention during any of the many times he let him watch, then he had to know what to do.

Xigbar sat down on the edge of the tub and slipped off his eyepatch.

Demyx was clearly trying to hide how excited he was. It was a little annoying, but it was better than if he'd refused to look at him at all. The whole eyepatch thing tended to turn people off. Most strangers didn't even want to look directly at his face as if they were worried that he'd think they were staring. He didn't care about other people, though. He only cared about what the Master thought.

Demyx took one of the hand towels from the rack and wet half of it at the sink.

Kneeling in front of him on the tiled floor, he held out his hands, beckoning him to bring his face closer. Xigbar obliged without question, leaning forward to rest his chin in Demyx's palm. He kept his eye open and watching him, feeling restless.

Even though he only had one eye, both of his eyelids still moved in tandem. It was frustrating. It bothered him that he had no control over it. If it were up to him, he would have kept his right eyelid closed all the time. He didn't want to disfigure himself further, though, so he chose to wear the eyepatch to protect it.

Demyx's excited face slowly became more serious as he studied his empty eye socket. Unconsciously, Xigbar let out an anxious breath as Demyx held his chin and tilted his head toward the light.

“At long last... Let's have a look at Xiggy's most forbidden place...!” He pressed the pad of his thumb against his lower lid, pulling it down to open it wider. If he was grossed out by it, he didn't show it, giving the socket a calm, discerning inspection. “I can tell you're wondering what I think. Like, it's gross. Of course it's gross, you know? But I can tell that you've taken good care of it, so it's not bad. Not bad at all. I shouldn't expect any less from you, huh? You've always been diligent.”

Trying to keep his calm, Xigbar closed his left eye, but he could still feel Demyx examining the inside of his right eye socket. When he gave him permission to help, he knew that he would invariably take that as an opportunity to sate his curiosity, so he had no right to feel bothered by his attention. It was fine. He wasn't a medical doctor, but he'd probably acquired enough secondhand knowledge to be qualified to have an opinion.

The Master had kept many things hidden away from the others, but he'd shown him everything. That included his experiments. Dream Eaters hadn't been the only living things he'd experimented on in his lab.

Whether or not his research had been ethical, he was certainly ahead of his time. No one had ever caught up with him. Then again, it was naturally impossible for the present to catch up with the future when it was always out of reach.

He was aware that he was in experienced hands, but even so...

His shoulders were trembling on their own.

The sensation of someone else's eyes looking into the empty space where his own eye should've been... It just didn't feel right.

“Hey, it's okay,” Demyx said, taking away his hands as soon as he noticed. “What's up? You know I'm not going to hurt you.”

“Don't play around. Just... get it over with,” Xigbar said through tightly clenched teeth.

“Does it still bother you that much?”

Xigbar gripped his knees, feebly trying to ignore his uneasiness. “I'd like to say that I got numb to this sort of thing, but... Nah. You really don't.” He looked up at Demyx and quickly glanced away, suddenly feeling too ashamed to look him in the eye. “Losing my heart... Becoming Xehanort's vessel... Somehow, that kind of stuff doesn't bother me as much. But losing a part of my body? That's always messed me up. I can take back my heart, but once a part of my body is gone... It's just gone. I can't deal with that kind of permanence.”

Even when he was whole, he never forgot what it was like to be in pieces. He still occasionally felt the pain of the limbs he lost in his other lives. His vessels were disposable, but he remained cautious enough to avoid exacerbating that pain.

A little here, a little there... It added up.

Sometimes, he dreamed that he was falling apart.

He noticed that Demyx was looking at him with a severe expression. It was another face he would have normally kept hidden under his hood, sour and humorless.

“What're you thinking?”

“I'm angry that anyone would scar my most precious disciple like this.”

All of the others who hurt him in the past were already dead. Terra was going to be in trouble if he and the Master ever crossed paths. That face said that it'd be his pleasure to personally erase his existence from their future.

He didn't have to go that far...

But Xigbar would've been lying if he said that he didn't love it when the Master became protective. He knew that he had the power to go absolutely ballistic. Really lose his shit.

“You could've warned me.”

“Y-you know I couldn't do that,” Demyx stammered defensively. “If I told you what would happen, that would've changed things. The butterfly effect is real and it sucks. You think I _enjoyed_ watching what would happen?”

He wasn't sure what to think, but he wasn't blaming him.

“It's not your fault. You weren't the one who did it. Mishaps like this are bound to happen when you've lived as long as I have. It'd be unfair to expect you to keep me safe from everything in life. Even if you wanted to, I bet it would've been hard to steer the future and keep me out of trouble at every turn.”

Nevertheless, Demyx looked like he felt guilty.

He was Demyx, after all. He was probably used to being blamed for everything. Being straightforwardly told that it wasn't his fault for a change seemed to leave him at a loss for words.

He remained quiet and returned to his work, using the damp corner of the hand towel to clean around Xigbar's eyelid. Each touch was delicate and precise, like a skilled sculptor making careful adjustments to his work. Xigbar hardly felt it. He found himself distracted by his calm, focused face and gradually relaxed in the security of his care.

“There,” Demyx said proudly. “Nice and clean.”

Xigbar thanked him. As he reached for his eyepatch, Demyx stopped him.

“Want a new one?” he asked. He closed one eye and tapped his cheek below the other. “An eye. I can give you one of mine. I've got eyes to spare. Installing a new one will be a piece of cake since you took such good care of the eye socket. Of course, I'll be able to see out of the eye, too, so as long as you're okay with that...”

Like the No Name...

He could match with his keyblade. The thought almost made him laugh out loud. It was a really generous offer, though. If it meant the full restoration of his sight, then he couldn't refuse. The one thing Demyx posed as a caveat wasn't nearly as bad as it sounded. He was used to being watched.

“I don't have anything to hide from you.”

Demyx smiled.

“Hold still.”

One of those snakelike, aquamarine eyes materialized between his fingers from a bolt of crackling energy. Even after so many years, Xigbar still felt somewhat queasy at the sight of a disembodied eyeball. It looked larger and rounder than he expected, around the size of a billiard ball. Xigbar remained sitting on the edge of the tub and tried not to move as Demyx approached him with it. He grimaced and tried to keep his eyelid open as wide as he could as he felt Demyx pressing the eye into the socket.

Unlike a billiard ball, however, it had a very unpleasantly pliable texture. It was able to squish and conform to fit the hole.

He didn't notice an immediate difference, his vision still as dark as the dead of night on the right side. Just as he began to wonder if he should be concerned, a sharp pain violently ripped through his brain like a gunshot blast. Deadened optical nerves were reconstructed and reconnected, joining the new eye with his body. He groaned gutturally and grasped his head, but the pain left almost as quickly as it had struck, leaving the inside of his skull hot and throbbing.

It wasn't great, but it definitely felt better than getting stabbed in the chest by a keyblade.

“Well?” Demyx asked expectantly.

Xigbar lifted his head and opened his eyes.

He saw the Master's face.

“Well. I have a colossal headache, but I have my depth perception back, so I can't complain. And...” He leaned forward and gave him an appreciative kiss. “Now I can see your stupid face with both eyes.”

“And now I can give myself double vision if I want. When I look at you, I can see myself at the same time~”

“Sounds like you're into that.”

“Kinda. But it'll make me dizzy. So...” He laughed sheepishly. “I won't do that.”

Being able to see in a dozen different places at the same time, it was no wonder Demyx seemed so scatterbrained. It sounded like he had the ability to decide whose perspective he was seeing from, but it had to be taxing, trying to constantly keep an eye on all of them. It probably made him feel like he was living a dozen lives simultaneously.

It was never enough for him, though. He always needed more. When there weren't eyes, there were cameras. He really couldn't get enough of other people's business.

“Come on!” Demyx suddenly grabbed his arm and made him stand. “Look for yourself! Tell me what you think!”

Feeling at once apprehensive and strangely excited, Xigbar made it the few steps to the sink. What he saw was exactly what he expected, yet it still managed to make him feel something.

One gold eye in which the darkness had settled, and one eye like the Master's, bright and new.

He felt... proud.

Even more, the Master had become a part of him.

“This was a pretty intimate gesture, don'cha think?”

In the mirror's reflexion, he caught the blush on Demyx's face. He watched as he approached and felt his arms as they slid around his waist from behind, felt his breath tickle the back of his neck as he rested his chin against his shoulder.

“Mmh. I can see it... Our happy future.”

When he was a child, the Master spoke to him like an adult. It was because he knew. He saw the future, knew what he was like. From the first moment they met, in his mind, it was like they had already known each other forever. There was no 'beginning.' The only thing he saw was the consummation of his pride.

So, for him to say something like that... It made Xigbar wonder just how far their relationship would progress in the future. His heart was already pounding, imagining it.

He turned his head and caught Demyx's lips.

He didn't have to say anything. Surely, Demyx was already able to see that he would love him unconditionally, forever, as stupid, self-centered, and wonderful as he was.

“Master...”

“Hmmmmmm?”

“If you keep clinging to me, I'm going to have no choice but to toss you into the tub with me.”

“Okie-dokie.”

“That wasn't supposed to be an offer...”

“Why?”

Xigbar turned around in his embrace and reached up to pinch his cheeks.

“What do you mean 'why?' Stop being difficult.”

Demyx blinked and tilted his head.

“Oh, do you want me to leave? You want to be alone? Ohhh... Sorry, sorry. Didn't realize I was being a nuisance.” Without complaint, he removed his arms from Xigbar's waist and headed for the bathroom door. As he was about to leave, he turned back and leered. “I'll let you have your privacy.”

As if.


End file.
